7.07.2012

Looking Back Reflection | The Cry

I can remember it as if it happened just yesterday. The sound, the look, & the feel of her cry truly traumatized me. I sometimes laugh at it the memory of it, but moreso, feel sorry, pity even, for her mom. And a part of me just wants to yell to the masses, "I told you so!" which explains why I'm here today. Here's the backstory-

When our families & friends found out about our decision for me to stay at home with Michael, we received a lot of "You'll hate it", "You'll want to go back to work", and "You'll create a spoiled brat".
But the one unsolicited opinion we got the most was "He'll get too attached."

The first thing that came to mind was, "Why wouldn't I want him to be attached to me? Is it really that wrong for a parent to have a healthy, loving relationship with their child?"

Speaking of unsolicited opinions, I have never given mine to another parent.

Back to a month ago. We were at a family function and an aunt of ours (that aunt who gave me her opinion on her working parenting expertise) had to get something from her car. Her car that was parked in the driveway. She left for no more than 5 minutes. And her daughter (the one that wasn't the attached one because she was the perfect parent and worked and had her adult interaction time and allowed for her daughter to have her own child interaction time) cried, yelled, stood in front of the door, kicked and screamed, ignored our Grandma despite her pleads to stop, until. her. mom. came. back.

An uncle of ours even said under his breath, "She always gets like that when she leaves."

I thought to myself, Michael has never done that. Sure, he has thrown tantrums, but nothing of that caliber. Even when I run errands, or go for a run, or when we have our date nights. He has never thrown a fit when we would leave. He might actually be excited that we're leaving. :\

We've never even had to bust out some ninja moves to escape his line of sight so that he wouldn't throw a fit.

Maybe her definition of attachment is different from ours. Every parent's definition of attachment can be different. Again, I view attachment as a healthy, loving relationship whether or not you work or stay at home. For us, we have been blessed with the opportunity for me to stay at home with him, but we too, similar to any working parent, still have our own challenges. Like I always say, whatever works for your family. Just don't put another parent down for their choices. Unless, you know, you physically see them putting their child in some real danger.

If I was creating a "spoiled brat" or child that was too attached, I would definitely not contribute it to me staying at home. Because this case just proves that you can still work and have an "attached" child.

Now take that to the bank.


~Kristina

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