Remember all the things on your daily to-do list prior to parenthood? Now imagine having to do everything on that list times 2. And for some, that's times 3, 4, 5...
That's what happens when you become a MOM.
You think that the world's just going to magically snap its fingers for you and give you all the time to "get things done."
Nope. Just the opposite. It throws a tantrum, a dirty diaper, a lost shoe, and a stain on your brand new top instead. It leaves you with more dishes in the sink, a grocery cart full of unpaid food left in the produce section, a laundry pile that suddenly appeared (though you just folded a whole stack,) and a to-do list that never seems to have everything crossed off.
Then somehow you're convinced that it is essential to schedule in "me" time, date night, workouts, play dates, girl's night out, couple's night out, a whole slew of things.
And THEN, you have to blog about it.
Pause while I catch my breath. I'm tired just typing this.
When you become a parent, your balance gets thrown off. The struggle between what needs to get done and what needs to get done NOW seems to be the constant debate.
Michael has developed a routine which he has stuck to for quite some time. But recently, we have been challenged with late nights, early wakings, less napping, etc.
This leaves less time to get things done and of course more anxiety about the "whys" of it all. The comparisons. The less time to appreciate. And the more time to worry.
But are we happy?
Are you happy?
Is Michael happy?
That's what my husband always asks me when I complain. When I struggle with my undone chores. The errands that weren't ran for the day. The guilt I feel when I can't do it all.
Maybe finding balance means letting go of the dishes sometimes. Letting that pile of laundry increase. Letting that phone call go to voicemail. Letting that to-do list accumulate.
Because even when its all done, I'm not necessarily happy. Accomplished yes, but happy, not really.
When am I happy then?
I'm happiest when I'm WITH my family. When I'm not trying to do so many things at one time. When I'm not racing against the clock. When I'm not hoping the sun sets yet. When I'm not saying "Hold on a sec, I'm..."
Despite the mess, I'm happiest when I'm on the floor laughing with Michael. When I'm on the couch lounging with my husband. I'm happiest when we're out & about. When we're actually enjoying each other's company and not just existing in each other's presence.
Maybe I don't need to find balance. Maybe I need to find happiness.
Because when I'm not struggling to find it, I'm happy.
And surprisingly, in the end, the list gets done. Not in the time I may have wanted. But its done.
Michael even went to bed at 9:30p last night & woke at 5:50a on the dot. Yikes right? Yet, I've done so much this morning and even blogged about it. Seriously, how did that happen?