8.14.2012

Toddle Along Tuesday | 08/14/12

Finding Balance. I think I need to find balance to even talk about it.

Remember all the things on your daily to-do list prior to parenthood? Now imagine having to do everything on that list times 2. And for some, that's times 3, 4, 5...

That's what happens when you become a MOM.

You think that the world's just going to magically snap its fingers for you and give you all the time to "get things done."

Nope. Just the opposite. It throws a tantrum, a dirty diaper, a lost shoe, and a stain on your brand new top instead. It leaves you with more dishes in the sink, a grocery cart full of unpaid food left in the produce section, a laundry pile that suddenly appeared (though you just folded a whole stack,) and a to-do list that never seems to have everything crossed off.

Then somehow you're convinced that it is essential to schedule in "me" time, date night, workouts, play dates, girl's night out, couple's night out, a whole slew of things.

And THEN, you have to blog about it.

Pause while I catch my breath. I'm tired just typing this.

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When you become a parent, your balance gets thrown off. The struggle between what needs to get done and what needs to get done NOW seems to be the constant debate.

Michael has developed a routine which he has stuck to for quite some time. But recently, we have been challenged with late nights, early wakings, less napping, etc.

This leaves less time to get things done and of course more anxiety about the "whys" of it all. The comparisons. The less time to appreciate. And the more time to worry.

But are we happy?

Are you happy?

Is Michael happy?

That's what my husband always asks me when I complain. When I struggle with my undone chores. The errands that weren't ran for the day. The guilt I feel when I can't do it all.

Maybe finding balance means letting go of the dishes sometimes. Letting that pile of laundry increase. Letting that phone call go to voicemail. Letting that to-do list accumulate.

Because even when its all done, I'm not necessarily happy. Accomplished yes, but happy, not really.

When am I happy then?

I'm happiest when I'm WITH my family. When I'm not trying to do so many things at one time. When I'm not racing against the clock. When I'm not hoping the sun sets yet. When I'm not saying "Hold on a sec, I'm..."

Despite the mess, I'm happiest when I'm on the floor laughing with Michael. When I'm on the couch lounging with my husband. I'm happiest when we're out & about. When we're actually enjoying each other's company and not just existing in each other's presence.

Maybe I don't need to find balance. Maybe I need to find happiness.

Because when I'm not struggling to find it, I'm happy.

And surprisingly, in the end, the list gets done. Not in the time I may have wanted. But its done.

Michael even went to bed at 9:30p last night & woke at 5:50a on the dot. Yikes right? Yet, I've done so much this morning and even blogged about it. Seriously, how did that happen?



~Kristina

12 comments:

  1. Thank you for the follow! :) I"m following you back now!



    www.studentswife.com

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  2. Letting things go is how I find balance (which to me is the same thing as happiness)!

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  3. Thanks for following me! I am following you now too! I agree with the the comment above me, I have to let things go. Spending time with my family is way more important than having organized closets, or a floor so clean you could eat off of it!

    Pamela
    http://pammiej2002.blogspot.com/

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  4. It is hard to find balance, most of the time it is unbalanced but you have to figure out what you need to get done in order to be happy so you can hang out with your family and BE happy... everyones needs vary but you'll figure it out..well you'll get used to juggling it and hopefully it becomes easier..all of us with kids are right there with you hon!
    Sheree x
    www.itsnotthatdeep.com

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  5. It's like we're living the same life! Only, add a full time job to that mess for me!!!! You are so right- it's more important to be HAPPY. If you're not happy, then nothing else matters. This being a mom thing is the biggest challenge and greatest journey I've ever had, yet somehow I'm still doing it. How do we do it?

    Good luck on this crazy ride, and thanks for stopping by my blog. Now following along :)

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  6. I know EXACTLY how you feel!! Following you back from The Path to an Organized Tomorrow. Have a great week! :)

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  7. I know absolutely exactly how you feel.
    It's so difficult to find a balance and to let go of all the ridiculous expectations that you have for yourself...being a momma IS HARD, especially for those of us with perfectionist tendencies.

    Thanks so much for checking out my blog--I appreciate it!

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  8. Balance is so tough after kids, it is the thing I strive for too. Good post

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  9. So true... SO TRUE! It's hard to find the balance and let go of the mommy guilt of not getting all 1,976 done each day. A happy mommy is a better mommy- and sometimes, the dishes can wait until tomorrow :)

    Great blog- new follower :)

    Shel
    http://shelconnors.wordpress.com/

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  10. I know how you feel. It's so hard to get it all done!
    Stopping by from the blog hop.
    Jen @www.babyisboss.blogspot.com

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  11. Love this. I like the idea of finding happiness much better than finding balance ;)

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