To be honest, I don't really have the words right now. I don't have some fancy or entertaining post prepared.
Because my days seem to be filled with "Stop," "Careful," "No," "See, I told you you would get hurt." And "Please?" Which often lead to an unhappy child. And even moreso, an unhappy Mom.
Probably because most of our days are filled with this, on every bed, couch, surface, table, home and in public-
Which of course, he can't do everywhere. Again, leading to an unhappy child.
I've been trying to change this, ever since my husband brought up an example from a book he read called "The Happiness Project" by Gretchen Rubin. Here's a little excerpt-
Sometimes, on the brink of a meltdown or even during one, I deny my son's feelings. "No" is followed by another "No" followed by a "Stop" and a "See, I told you you would get hurt."
But I sometimes have to take a step back and look at the situation. Why am I saying No? Why do I want him to stop? And that's when the bulb goes off and I realize that sometimes I deny his feelings because I just don't want to deal with it in the moment.
It's okay to say No. But when No means, Mommy doesn't want to watch you do that right now, therein lies the rub.
So instead, like the million of other lessons I'm learning as a parent, I'm learning to speak more positively. I'm also learning to accept myself saying No, when No really has meaning. Even if that means accepting my son is unhappy at the moment.
But of course, the "No's" will never add up to the amount of times I say "I Love You'" in one day.